The Fear

So, as is usual with me, it's the night before the AMK and I have the fear.  I have the fear so bad, I'm pretty numb with it to be honest.  I am about 99% certain I won't be able to beat last time's score, so I'm just psyching myself up to telling my family and friends I've gone down.  It doesn't even really feel like there'll be an exam tomorrow.  I've got PBL in the morning with a new facilitator who's pretty strict and pro-science/anti-fluffy stuff so hopefully he'll impart some pearls of wisdom as there's literally 15 minutes between finishing the session with him and the coach leaving to take us to the exam venue.  Before an AMK you'd usually find me pretty spaced out doing last minute cramming in my room, on the walk to the coach, going up the stairs to the exam hall, to the very last minute.  People tell me it's not good and if I don't know it by now I never will, but I know for a fact that I got at least one mark last time because of last second cramming - an odd sentence I read in a dermatology section about livestock handlers and skin diseases, and a question about orf came up.  It works for me.

Mr is now ridiculously far away for a stupidly long time.  It's not even really worth counting sleeps it's so far away - 108 sleeps.  I can't even comprehend how many fingers and toes and noses I'd need to count all of them :(  New Years was lovely though.  It filled up really early, so we were there in the rain from 7pm and my evening included a fun hour long queue for the loo.  The fireworks were worth it though - absolutely amazing.

I'm off to go cook tea - squash gnudi om, nom, such a student diet.  See you on the other side, and happy new year.